Cheaterbug Cabbie

I was late this morning. Took a cab to work and as i stepped out of the cab, i realised that the taxi driver had shortchanged me by $6.10. I was a little mad. Quite mad, getting madder still as i took the lift up to my office. I felt the first sting of the ugliness of human nature...and it has to be early morning going to work...sigh. The cabbie knew i was in a hurry, he saw that i was listening to my mp3, he compromised by stopping me at the zigzag line outside my office (so he couldn't stay long at that spot). And he handed me my change from a $50 bill, fold them into half. And as i stepped out of the cab, i felt a little suspicious of the cabbie who hesitated and paused a brief moment before handing me my change. By the time i realised i was shortchanged, too late, the cab was gone. What's left behind was me standing there in confusion and almost "fused" into a combustion.

Things like that happen everywhere in the world. Everyday. But do i have to keep thinking about the "injustice" done to me? Keep dwelling on the opportunistic cabbie? I find that focusing on my "injustice" doesn't help me abit at all. Bitterness and anger will only cause tension to my already frail body. The only way to purge this unhealthy thought is to divert my attention to elsewhere instead eg. looking at my own "faults" in this matter. After all, I should have woke up earlier this morning. Secondly, I should have been more alert as my mind was not in the right place this morning...i let it drowned in 张惠妹 melancholic song 平常心 . Disctraction. Always a problem for me. Sometimes find myself not able to speak what my mind says. Or says not what my mind intends. And mind also not reacting as fast as it used to be.

I guess medidating on God's words has paid off for me. That is, to take away focus from all unjust suffering in the world.

"Now all has been heard, here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgement, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil."

(Ecclesiastes 12:13-14)

Les Choristes

Countess: "Excuse me, Who is that boy over there, is he...being punished?"

Clement Matthieu: "Over there?...He's....a special case."

Pierre Morhange sings:

"O Night, o leave still, to the Earth,
The enchanting calm, of your mystery, is so sweet.
Is there anything more beautiful than dream? Sweeter, than hope."

In Morhange's eyes, who followed my beat so carefully, I read many things... Pride...The joy of being forgiven, but also this was new for him, a kind of gratitutde.

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What a gd way to spend a lazy Saturday afternoon. The movie is touching with haunting musical score and angelic sounds from the boys' chorus whose voices have yet to "break".

What i love about the movie is the strong theme of grace vs. punishment ie. compassion of the heart in contrast to the hard discipline of the law in this movie.

Clement Matthieu. The central character of this movie is a "supervisor/teacher" who took up a post in a boy's reformatory for delinquents. He's short, alitttle pudgy, not even gd looking and even bald! Not a very outspoken nor interesting character. But a man who possesses a heart full of love, wisdom and compassion. He introduces music, his passion, into the bleak lives of the boys. His dedication, patience and compassion for the boys in the reformatory finally won them over. Touching their young tender hearts, changing their lives forever. In the end, he was forced to leave the reformatory by the folly mistake of another. As he left the cold concrete building, the boys threw paper aeroplanes of love notes out of the towering window and paid their last tribute to their dear beloved teacher..singing in perfect unison with their sweet voices their teacher has painstackingly taught them to use.

"I felt a surge of joy and optimism. I wanted to shout it to the world. But who would've listened? No one knew who i was.The great artist was back to being a nobody. I'm only Clement Matthieu....failed musician, unemployed supervisor."

Clement Matthieu gave music lessons to the end of his life. Without seeking fame. He kept his achievements for himself. For himself? Not only.

One Night in Beijing

It has been 20 days since i was back from Beijing.

Ever since my colleagues came back from Beijing in June, the Lord has put a desire in my heart - to go Beijing. This desire never crystalised nor surface until 3 weeks ago...

Birthdays are always a melancholic affair for me. I almost literally stopped celebrating them since 1997. Anyway, it was almost a week after my birthday that my friend KL asked if i wanted to piggyback on her business trip to Beijing. It couldn't have come at a better time. I struggled with some guilt then between fulfilling my godly duty first in bsf and indulging in my own personal agenda. After much pondering and prayer, decided that i need to just go away and spend some quality time with God in a foreign land. Excuses....

Everything went smoothly. I managed to get a flight that arrived half an hour earlier than my friend... and paid only half her ticket price. Then i was upgraded to business class and due to some slight delay, arrived the same time as my friend and met her at the immigration. We stayed at Sheraton Great Wall. A nice hotel. Spent a great weekend touring the famous Great wall, Tiananmen, Forbidden city ... savouring local beijing delights - roast duck, "ma la" steamboat, beijing Jia xiang Cai etc.. And of course the shopping was great too.

Strangely for me, the highlight of the trip was Sunday when we went worshipping in an "international" church Beijing International Christian Fellowship. i feel so joyful and liberated to see so many people from so different nationalities coming together, united in one heart, spirit, mind and soul to worship our one true God. The feeling is really fantastic. I felt tears almost when i see a coloured man and a caucasian pastor singing hymns in Mandarin. Trying their best to reach out to the chinese audience in the midst. i am very touched indeed and wish one day i could also stand at the foot of Zion amongst the multitudes of people singing songs of praises while anticipating our Lord's return. On that day.

It is by God's divine will that i met "盾甫" (pronounced Tun Fu). I'd wanted to buy chinese seals for my friend from bsf who's getting married this november. Went to Pan Jia Yuan antique market and almost to my horror, the market is closed except for a few rows of antique stores...and then i chanced upon his shop. Somehow, God impressed upon me to request this young man to carve bible verses for me at the side of the seals. Perhaps becoz he wanted to close his only business deal for the day, he helped me searched frantically for a chinese bible (calling his only 2 christian friend, one of whom is a caucasian) for the exact translation of Ephesians 5. Finally i had to call my pastor back in Singapore for help... Through all the waiting, somehow i manage to share my experience of how i became a christian to this stranger (while praying for eloquence and God to move his heart of course). We spent almost 2 hour talking! And i have to admit that i was a little anxious to leave by 3.30pm to get some lunch and shopping at least! So i paid the money and 盾甫 was kind enough to volunteer to help me get the ink pot (to save time) and deliver them to my hotel that night.

He didn't turn up that night. But he came at 9 sharp the next morning. When i met him at the lobby, clad with a mandarin collar coat with his pony tail and goat tee...i thought he looked like a chinese taoist swordsman from the famous (金庸) Jin Yong's novel! After realising that he's not in a hurry to leave, i delibereately started him on the subject where we left off the day before. We spoke about religion, faith, christianity, God and meaning of life... i left my watch in the room earlier in a hurry so i didn't know how long we had talked. i felt the Holy spirit prompting me to pray for him but yet not sure how i should do it. Finally, i just came right out and asked him "Would u like me to pray for you?" And to my very surprise, he said "yes". My heart was racing. I didn't know how to pray in mandarin! At least not fluently. In fact i felt God has definitely given me the gift of "tongue" when i was in Beijing. He has enabled me to speak fluent chinese the entire time i was in Beijing. We found a very quiet spot at the cafe and proceeded to pray. In my heart i was almost panicking cos i really dun know how and where to start. I did a silent prayer in my heart seeking desperately for the Holy Spirit's enabling to help me pray for this unsaved soul. When we finished the prayer, i'm deeply touched to see 盾甫 still had his head bow down in prayers. Finally he looked up and i can almost feel God's tremendous love for this man. He must have been a seeker, hungrily searching for God in his empty lonely heart that God has to sent me all the way from Singapore to meet him in such manner and pray for him in HIS spirit. I know it is definitely not of my own effort at all. I have never led someone to pray the sinner's prayer...at least not in mandarin! Neither have i prayed so intensively and in such a perfect & "completed" prayer in mandarin.

I am truly blessed and honoured to be used by HIM as his vessel/instrument. I pray that God will continue to find me fit for HIS use.

I pray that 盾甫 will have God's words written in his heart and that we will one day meet again. From here to Eterenity. We shall meet again.

" The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart." That is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is LORD," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."

(Romans 10:8-10)