First Time in the Spot

Someone once told me that writing blogs is a way to de-stress.

I must be driven to much despair to even think about penning my thoughts here in this spot. At this moment.

I don't even know how to begin my blog. Where to begin... Life doesn't really make much sense at this point. Dad's condition has barely just stabilised and now i have to deal with yet another thorn in my flesh. I really thought last year was the end at bsf..drought period. Until You called me to serve as a DL this year. Till now, I can't even believe why I was being "picked". I wish You can speak to me again. Tell me why You placed me here? And why do You allow me to go through what i'm going through now. Was all that happened part of Your plan? Did i miss Your plan and purpose for me? It has been the best of times and yet the worst of times. Have i been hasty to make any decisions? Was i wrong to allow it to start? Or to end? I can't think. Mind's all blotched. How can i sit through every week's meeting with him in the same room? How Lord? Must i suffer so? Do i have to? Vindicate me oh Lord my father. Search my heart and restore my soul. If i have to take up the cross despite all this, please give me the strength and walk the rest of the miles with me. Please help me to forgive and forget in time. Heal my wounds.