Betrayed

"Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men." - 1 Peter 2:13-15

My mind draws a blank when my country manager told me this afternoon that my boss had found a new person to replace me and that she will start work in two week's time. My heart just turned cold for a moment. Frozen. I can't believe the pharoah would be so cruel and heartless to do this to me....especially when his attitude towards me seemed to have improved these few weeks. Just when i thought i could forgive and in time forget the torment he has inflicted on me the last few months. To think that he did this so that i could stay till he could find a chance to kill me off. I really never thought. The least he could do is to tell me and informed me so i would be mentally prepared. But of course, knowing him, he doesn't have the balls to tell me and even used me ruthlessly until it's a good time for him to dispose me. My blood just boils thinking of the things and mess and the amount of work that he has dumped on me just before he left...all the while knowing at the back of his mind that after clearing all the mess for him i will be disgracefully killed by him in the end. I really cannot imagine such a scrupulous man exists. Or have i wronged him? Misunderstood him? But yet, in the words of the country manager "Fenny, i think it will be better for you to resign before he had the chance to ask you to leave. Don't worry. You could count on me to write you a good reference letter." I am not sure if she is a friend or a foe at that moment. A messenger of death or a messenger of life. After all, his peers never liked him nor respect him.

I almost forgot how it felt like to be betrayed by someone. To be used. Each betrayal cuts deep and long. Leaving unhealable marks. I truly could understand how Jesus felt when Judas betrayed him for just 30 pieces of silver. The emotional hurt. The sleepless night that follows. The bitter pill. I do not know how much i am worth. Apparently nothing. In the midst of anger, sorrow and indignation. God sent me words of comfort and love. Friends like angels who cared enough to share a prayer and encouragement to me despite the bigger problems some of them are going through at the moment. All i know is that i try to do good all the time...but sometimes i just have to accept that life may never repay the good that i have to offer to it. After all the effort and many brain cells being destroyed by subtracting and adding to the pharoah's ridiculous expense report (and never even a word of thanks but critism for completing an almost impossible task), finally, i received a letter of acknowledgement from the highest level of authority that could ever be bestowed on any employee of the firm.... a compliment letter from the VP of Finance all the way from New York.

God had vindicated me.