Seconds like eternity

If I don't write what i feel... i fear i don't know what would happen inside me.

Every second here feels like an eternity. I'm stuck again. Where i am. And i really thought this is going to be a better year. I wish i could focus on something else during my day time, at least make use of the time to do some solid work. The fact is i sit at my desk everyday from 8.30am to 5.30pm and have absolutely nothing to do. The devil is really having the time of his life in my mind. I'm trying to focus reading devotions etc... but how much can i read? How much can i absorb? Everyday i jus feel so dazed. I fear that i may degenerate to become just like that piece of chair in one of the short film in "Tokyo!" by Michel Gondry.

I wish i can scream out loud right now to all the faces passing by my desk. I realise i have been starring at Edvard Munch's scary painting for a while now.